


You've Got Mail

by Volatilevore



Series: Emily's one shots [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kuroo is bad at flirting with cute boys, Kuroo still plays volleyball tho, M/M, Yaku is the only reason Kenma doesn't fail, heart boner type beat, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volatilevore/pseuds/Volatilevore
Summary: Kuroo finds himself bored during math, so he plays a game of hoops featuring him and the hoodie of the cute boy that sits diagonally from him. Oh, and the short guy who sits next to him, who actually turns out to be the world's biggest bro.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: Emily's one shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1382311
Comments: 3
Kudos: 106





	You've Got Mail

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I've had for months but just got around to making it. My older sister actually made some art for this! Go follow her Instagram @bellyi_art. She doesn't post much on twitter but she's going to try to be a contributor with me for the kuroken zine her @bellyi_art and mine is @volatile_vore

Kuroo took pride in being  _ that  _ kid. The troublemaking kid that all of the teachers loved, even though they should hate him for being a distraction. While he was considered a ‘troublemaker,’ he’d managed to get as few detentions as possible. His entire high school career, he had maybe six detentions because he got caught breaking the rules by one of the few people immune to his charm. His senior year was finally here, and rather than worry about the real world where he couldn’t smile his way out of trouble, he wanted to do something memorable. 

On the first day of school, his main objective was to analyze his teachers to decide just how far he could take it with each one. Despite many people’s first assumptions about Kuroo, he was actually pretty intelligent. How else would he keep all As and Bs without actually paying attention to class? One of his best talents was analysis of personalities, after playing around with a person for a couple of minutes, he can tell how receptive they are of his quote-unquote ‘crackhead energy.’ Luckily for him most of his teachers were fine with the way he acted- some even seemed to find it amusing. All except for his math teacher. She was short, stout, and seemed to have an endless supply of printer paper which she had conveniently placed at the front of the class. 

There is one good thing about math class though: the cute blond boy who sits diagonally from him. His name is Kenma Something. Kuroo can’t remember ‘cause he was too busy staring at his roots when the teacher called their name out. It kinda reminds him of pudding, but it’s hair instead. Kenma didn’t say anything, he just hummed and raised his hand so he didn’t get counted absent. Kuroo almost missed his own name being called ‘cause he was so distracted. Luckily for him, the teacher seemed to recognize his face, so she waited for him to snap out of his daze to answer. Unluckily for him, when he did look to the front of the classroom, she didn’t have the same fake frown covering up a smile the other teachers used when he got distracted. No, hers was as real as they got; she was not down with his games- noted. 

Mrs. Whatever-her-name-was went on about their syllabus and how they needed to get anything they didn’t have by tomorrow. Kuroo had notebooks out the wazoo, but he needed to get sticky notes on the way home. Who uses sticky notes in math class? Satan, that’s who. Those tiny, sticky papers get so jumbled up, he almost considered getting a stapler to keep them together. 

Mrs. No-Name took the rest of the time left in class to talk about herself. Kuroo took the time left in class to ignore her. On the outside, it would look like he was paying attention to her story about her weenie dog, but in reality, he was scoping the room out. There was an odd oval table in the corner of the room with a hole cut out in the middle with no chairs around it. The desks they were sitting at were connected to the tabletop which made him wonder if they got rid of all of the individual chairs. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere, but whatever. No matter how much he looked around the room, his eyes always made their way back to Kenma. He’d given up by the fourth time, opting to dedicate his full attention to subtly spying on the pudding head. 

Kenma seemed on the brink of death by the third weenie dog story. His eyes were droopy and his arm was slowly but surely giving up on keeping his head up. His mouth was slowly coming open as his hand dragged at his cheek. Kuroo couldn’t help but snicker into the hand he was propping his own head up with. 

Kenma was wearing perfect school sleeping gear too: a hoodie that wasn’t too thin but didn’t look too suffocatingly thick and red sweatpants to match the sweater. Nobody could judge him for passing out in his comfy clothes in the mostly quiet classroom, save for a few people whispering about something off-topic and the teacher telling completely useless dog stories. What Kuroo did judge him for was the way he was sleeping with his hand bent like a pipe cleaner; how do you even sleep like that? 

Kuroo was concerned for Kenma’s well-being so, of course, he had to think of something or else the poor boy would have a hurt wrist by the end of his nap. So he crumpled up a piece of printer paper he’d taken when he first walked in and aimed directly for the back of his head. Instead of hitting his head, it fell right into his hood. Kuroo was in volleyball, not basketball, so that was actually a win for him. He ripped off some more paper and aimed directly where he had before, just as the paper went in Kuroo noticed the person next to him jerk back. 

When Kuroo peaked over to them they had a hand over their mouth, their head was ducked and their shoulders shook. They had probably seen Kuroo throw the paper bombs into the sleeping boys hood. Kuroo snickered and caught their attention, he took another paper and simply wrote ‘UWU’ he showed it to the boy next to him for confirmation. He got it by the boy putting his head in his hands but the smile never left his mouth. He crumpled up the paper and threw it into his hood just as the class was ending. The moment the bell rang, the kid next to him- Yaku?- Kuroo wasn’t paying attention but Yaku was said at some point so he went with it. Yaku came up behind Kenma and pushed on his back, effectively waking him up. 

“Come on Kenma, you can’t sleep here all day,” he took Kenma and pushed the tired boy in front of himself, hand on his middle back and walked him out the door. 

Aw shit, Kuroo was done for. Kenma didn’t seem the type to joke around much, and that guy was 100% gonna tell him about the presents left in his hoodie. Well, there was nothing Kuroo could do about it now. What was he gonna do about it; deny, deny, deny? 

Turns out he didn’t have enough trust in the little man. The next day, not a word was spoken. Kenma didn’t confront him, which didn’t surprise Kuroo. He didn’t really seem the type. But even, Yaku, who obviously wasn’t one to shy away from confrontation -judging by the lengthy argument he had with a lunch lady the previous day- didn’t ask him about it. 

What didn’t surprise Kuroo was when he looked over at Kenma the next day, he was already passed out. Head down, arms hiding his face, dead ass asleep. Kuroo knew what he had to do. He grabbed a piece of paper, crumpled it up, and chucked it at the back of his head. It flew at the perfect trajectory to go just above where it was meant to. Leading to a series of horrific events, it bounced off his head, then gave his hoodie a rim job basically, before falling dramatically onto the cold, hard floor. 

“Shit,” Kuroo gripped the side of his desk and elongated his body to grab the ball of dead tree. 

Just as his fingertips grazed their goal, a hand came down and tore all of his efforts up like it was nothing. Kuroo hauled his body back up and let go of the desk to look at the owner of the intruding hand. His eyes didn’t have to travel far to find theirs, as the perp threw the paper ball back to him. Turns out luck was on Kuroo’s side. It was only Yaku. 

The teacher came in just as the bell rang, her midday coffee in one hand, and big ol’ stack of papers nobody wanted to do tucked underneath the opposite arm. She got right to the point with a sheet of quadratics for review. 

There was no reaction from Kenma- not a head nod, not a movement, nothing. He didn’t even realize there was work in front of him until Yaku leaned over and whacked him on the head with his pencil. And even then, he raised his head the tiniest bit, flipped the paper over and just stared at it. If he hadn’t leaned down to grab his pencil, Kuroo would’ve thought he’d fallen asleep again. 

Kuroo was done with the paper within 20 minutes, he hated quadratics, but it had to be done. Since he still had about 30 minutes left in class he decided to continue his previous activities. The paper Kuroo had crumpled at the beginning of the class was still in his hoodie pocket, but he got a new one, scribbled on it, and tossed it. This time, he made sure to toss it lower than before to avoid history repeating itself. It landed right in Kenma’s hood without a hitch. Kuroo saw Yaku coving up a laugh in his peripheral. Kenma seemed oblivious to what was going on behind him. The other boy’s complete lack of awareness just made the whole situation that much funnier. 

Kuroo offered his pocket paper ball to Yaku, but he was rejected. Kuroo gave the ball a quick peck then tossed it. He was getting extremely good at aiming the projectiles so they hit right in the middle of the hood. Much more time and consideration went into his next ball; his drawings were precise and clean, the ball was expertly crumpled, no tears to be seen. Straight into the hood with his masterpiece. 

The bell rang in the middle of him making his second intricate ball. As he was leaving the class he heard Yaku talking to Kenma at his locker on the other side of the locker.

“Looks like you have a secret admirer.” 

“Shut up Yaku, stop putting these in my hoodie. It’s wasting paper,” with the way Yaku was laughing anyone would’ve thought it was Yaku trying to prank Kenma. 

Kuroo felt a grin split his face as he thought about all of the hearts he’d left on the papers. 

Kuroo thought he’d be bored of throwing paper into some cute boy’s hood by the first week, but as the second week started he was just getting more excited with every ball he threw. While the number of balls he was able to throw decreased, the illustrations on them got more intricate. Kenma had also started turning around at random times during class to look at Yaku, and sometimes he’d glance over at Kuroo before turning back around. Those quick glances made Kuroo’s mouth dry. 

  
  


The danger of repetition is that it lulled Kuroo into a false sense of security. All he had to watch for was Kenma turning around. What he wasn’t expecting was the teacher to stop writing on the board, mid equation, to call him out. 

“Kuroo I really hope you aren’t about to do what I think you’re about to do,” the whole class stopped to look at him. 

Kuroo still had the ball in his hand, when she called on him. 

“Depends on what you think I was about to do, Mrssssss ummm...” shit, Kuroo never even bothered to learn her name. 

“Well, it sure looks like you were about to throw a paper ball at Kenma, while he’s trying to learn,” the teacher stood arms crossed, classic teacher pose. 

“Oh… haha, you caught me,” Kuroo tried to charm his way out of it. 

“Don’t let me catch you doing it again,” she warned Kuroo before turning back to the whiteboard.

Great now Kenma knew it was him, and he’d just gotten on his teacher’s bad side. 

Kuroo waited after class for Kenma to come to talk to him, but it didn’t happen. Kuroo found it odd, but all he could reason was Kenma was in shock. Some of the stuff he’d written in those notes would put anyone in a state of disbelief. 

The next day, still nothing? Kuroo was getting a little anxious. He was barely able to keep still all day. Being in math with Kenma really didn’t help. His nonchalant attitude was really putting Kuroo on edge. 

After class, he finally snapped. He loitered around the locker area until he saw Yaku leave for whatever he had next before he went in for the kill. Kuroo may have been known for his charm with teachers and girls, but guys like Kenma always made him more nervous than he’d like to admit. The way Kenma’s eyes bored into him as he tried to naturally position himself made him sweat, and he could feel his ears getting pinker. He settled on the classic douche-bag pose with his arm raised above his head leaning on the locker. Kuroo’s eyes met Kenma’s with what he’d hoped was the same intensity but he kind of felt like Kenma was winning. 

“Do you...want them back?” Kenma slung his backpack around so it was facing forward on his stomach.

“Want what back?” Kuroo racked his brain for an appropriate answer to that question. Had he given Kenma a pencil?

“These,” Kenma pulled out multiple paper balls, some of them fell out of his cupped hands and rolled into the sea of teens rushing to get to class. 

“Oh, uh wow. I didn’t expect you to keep them, you know,” Kuroo’s feet shuffled a bit as he tried to calm his nerves. 

“Oh well, I just assumed if it wasn’t Yaku whoever it was would want them back to prank someone else,” Kenma went to put the balls back in his bag. 

“Wait!” Kuroo felt his hands reaching for Kenma before he’d thought about what to say next. They both stood stock still, Kuroo’s hands clutching Kenma’s, making the rest of the paper balls roll onto the ground. Kenma’s eyes were wider, it wasn’t much but Kuroo had spent so much time staring at the boy he’d notice even the slightest change in expression. 

“So...is this like...a hobby of yours? Throwing paper balls into people’s hoodies and letting their friends take the blame for it?” If anyone else had asked Kuroo would’ve assumed they were being an asshole, but Kenma seemed to be genuinely asking. 

“No, just-” Kuroo let Kenma’s hands go and resumed his douche-bag position, “just the cute ones.” 

A couple seconds of silence went by before Kenma answered. 

“You did all this because you thought I was cute? Why didn’t you just...tell me?” Kenma bent down to pick up all of the fallen paper. 

“Well you know I just, um… didn’t think of it?” Kuroo wasn’t expecting that, but in hindsight, he probably should have been. 

“So?” Kenma picked his body back up to look Kuroo in the eyes.

“So?” Kuroo stared back trying to find any clue in Kenma’s eyes, all he got was the void of Kenma’s yellow eyes. 

“Are you going to do anything about it or are you just going to keep throwing paper in my hood?” Kenma tossed one of the paper balls in the hand back at Kuroo. 

“Do you want to go see ‘Frozen 2’ with me this Saturday?” Kuroo fiddled with the paper ball in his hands until it was half uncrumpled. 

“Sure, but only if we go late at night so there are no kids there,” Kenma took his time putting the paper balls back into the backpack’s pouch. 

“Ok here’s my number, text me and I’ll send you what time it’s at,” Kuroo rushed to pull out a pencil from his pocket, and scribbled down his number down on the messed up half ball he was holding. 

Kenma took the ball and put it in his hoodie pocket. Kuroo went to say something, but the bell beat him to it.

“Oh there’s the bell you should get going wouldn’t want your pretty face to get detention.” Kuroo clenched his jaw in self-loathing. That was beyond awful, and he wished for the tender embrace of death to wrap its plush arms around him as he waited for Kenma to call off the date. 

“Oh, thanks. Should I wear my big hoodie so we can sneak in food?” Kenma must’ve seen some shit to not even blink at the amount of pure word vomit Kuroo had just unleashed upon him. 

“Sure I’ll buy the candy on my way home. Text me your favorites,” Kuroo wiggled his phone in emphasis. 

“Ok, I’ll text you when this class is over,” Kenma waved at Kuroo before turning to walk up the side stairs. 

Smooth Kuroo real smooth, Kuroo gave himself a mental back pat.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm submitting this with my application for the kuroken zine and I'm nervous, wish me luck! Also here's the link to my sister's art for this https://www.instagram.com/p/B8DJx6eHAMC/


End file.
